It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. (Abe Lincoln)

Everything is a lie. Immediate digression from assumed topic.

Reasoning for something as being something to work for is ridiculous when its ultimately unachievable. You're just setting yourself up for failure. Its depressing, disgusting, and plain unhealthy. Get fucking smarter.

More frequently occupying my mind is the fantasy of independence. Senioritis, summer before senior year. How wonderful a feeling it must be to know that you rely on no one. However, though it is fantastic to know that you can fall back on your support, it is unsatisfactory. To manage my own life on my own terms is potentially the most settling accomplishment. And I'm not even one for goals and accomplishments. But then how do we judge ourselves? Nihilism.

A question I have for those grown-up and in the real world is: will the drama ever end? We teenagers think that we are in the real world, with our sex, drugs, our own blood smeared to justify our real world problems. I have little surety in what is considered real, but I have just as much authority to talk about these worlds as anyone. We have to break the bubble, don't we? The dome over what our worlds are now. Perhaps its just me, longing for change of scenery and to know more see more, to be fucking cultured. Thoughts? No one reads my blog. I wish people did.

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.
(Elie Wiesel)

Tragedy is Overrated.

Existentially, life has no meaning; human purpose is to exist until our ends. Death lacks tragedy.

I admit that it is totally possible that the reason I so strongly grasp the concepts of existentialism and nihilism which feed the invincibility complex, might be because as an adolescent, pre-mature death is undesirable. This outlook, I have discussed many times.

What caused me to bring this up is a recent night a shared with a group of people. My friends--individually--each are personal disasters. It is fucked up. Together we are a support group and enablers of hindering coping methods and defective resolutions. I just typed out all their profiles listing their personal imperfections which piss me off. What a bitch move on my part. I'm not posting that. The point is that we are teenage girls with major issues.

Self-mutilation is a touchy subject. You give attention to those who do it because you know they need it but how do you help without enabling? And what sucks more is seeing the copy cats cut themselves up as well. Their intentions I don't know. I've approached it and turned the other cheek so many times its like a choreographed dance.

Way personal. Identity?

I digress. No apologies.

I have been commended for my bluntness, but I also think many people are intimidated by it.

At least I admit that I don't know. I know that things are fucked up, beyond belief, and I have nothing original to say about it... (SubUrbia)

Is Trying Our Best Trying Too Hard?

Sometimes I'm surprised by the amount of make up my friends wear. A few aren't ever in public without any. Truly what I see is insecurity. Admittedly, there is jealously of their well put together appearance. However, I think that on some level, they feel unacceptable without improving their aesthetics. But this doesn't piss me off. Why should it?

I'm a fan of the candid. Posing for pictures at Disneyland is expected, but when trying too hard for a glamorous appeal is ridiculous. We call people who try too hard "posers" right? The thing is, we are jealous when these posers are successful in attaining others jealously, and we merely laugh at those who fail. I'm not just talking about the "photography" sense. But with demeanor, vernacular and overall protrayal of character.

Things should be accepted at face value. In-depth analysis goes below the surface but what good is that? If there is more, why shouldn't it be worn on our sleeves? Selective revealing creates all these different perceptions of a person. Terrific, no?

I laugh too much and peoples re-creations of themselves. Maybe its because I think its stupid not to accept who you are because no matter how superficially you try, you are who you are. Expression is tricky; I suppose gut is all you have to judge with. But then again "reserving judgement is a matter of infinite hope". (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

A New Blog

Hello potential readers.

A statement of intent? ~ I hope that I will find relateable souls who connect with my posts.

It is 3:35 this morning; so sorry to let you down. I promise a real blog soon. Its topic: how true untampered life is scarcely come by anymore.

Yours Truely,
Elpenora